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'cause it's all that we knowAnd as the spotlight turns toward us, we all try our best to show We are lost we are freaks, we are crippled, we are weak We are the heirs, we are the true heirs, to all the world I've waited so long to see New Model Army. I don't have the words to capture how consummately enthralled I was last night.His face, those coal black eyes, those broken teeth, the intensity in his voice, that nervous twitch like he's ready to snap, the veins bulging from his neck; his persona is colossal. His sphere pushes and projects outward, until you are enveloped. He pushes and pushes with his passion, until even the most stoic start to resonate with the music. I couldn't stop staring at him. He has this faraway look, but he looks right through you. You cant stop staring. He communicates his music with his eyes as much as his voice. He could send an army to war and they would go willingly. New Model Army is a living breathing entity, dynamic and adaptive. I cannot believe how amazing they were. I was in complete euphoria when they played "I Love the World". His face turned Crimson. Streams of sweat on his guitar were reflecting the light. At times, I was feeling time distortions, I was seeing overtones of the drum cymbals oscillating. It's 80 degrees inside, my hair is standing on edge and I'm getting shivers when the harmonies hit my eardrums. Yeah, I was so completely drunk in music that I think I was hallucinating. I was so drunk on euphoria, I felt like vomiting. I'm so happy music can still do this to me, can still take me to the place I visited times before in times long ago.The sound was perfect, full, voluminous. The band, masters of their art. At the very opening, Justin broke a guitar string, and didn't break stride. He kept playing, the wire dangling and whipping to and fro. After the song finished, he swapped guitars seamlessly. I don't see that kind of professionalism much these days. "This is some kind of Joint Venture" he said mockingly as the band went into "Here Comes the War" They played a lot of songs I didn't expect and didn't play a lot of songs I wanted, but I wasn't disappointed in the least. I was so happy to hear A Liberal Education. When he sung the chorus We didn't want a victory We just wanted to fight But you wouldn't fight You just gave in You went and spoiled every game You broke an everlasting chain And nobody respects you for your weakness his rage was terrifying/inspiring.There were similar, but more melancholic moments in Green and the Grey I love the cadence in The Charge. It's almost onomatopoetic in the way the cadence of the song resembles the galloping of a horse. I only know of one other band that does this sort of thing (The Cure).I see a lot of shows all for different reasons. The show last night was the purest and deepest reason: To bring me to a place outside this world, outside this mind, for even a few moments. That happened last night. What a fucking show. The aftershow crash wasn't so much fun.jv

Well, that's what they say, but I hope they're wrong, 'cuse #1 & 2 are enough for me. #1 was getting hit by the car on my bike.#2 was SOME ASSHOLE PULLING A KNIFE ON ME outside of Neo! I knew I should've went home after Nocturna, (which was fabulous btw).I walk out of the Neo alley and turn right onto the sidewalk. Some guy is walking next to me in the same direction. He starts calling me "a fucking faggot".I try to ignore him, but we are walking in the same direction. He keeps repeating "fucking faggot". After about the 5th iteration, I quietly say "Why are you being an asshole?"He fronts me, gets in my face. I nudge him aside trying to get past him. Then he pulls out a fucking knife and I completely lose it. I became so enraged, out of control. Something completely snapped in me. I take off my long coat and hang it like a matador from my left hand [1]. I start screaming to him; "DO YOU WANT TO GO TO JAIL!" He looks like he is trying to find an opening to strike. I don't wait. I kick him in the stomach, then again, plant my foot and strike with a barrage of punches to the face. It must've been a dozen or so. I was seething. I was out of control. There was no elegance to my fighting. It was barbaric. He was so overwhelmed.At one point he did grab me, but I just kept wailing on him, he let go quickly to try and protect himself, and he just kept falling back. When he was far enough away, one of the guys I was with said "let's get out of here." Another person on the street told the guy to put the knife away, the cops are coming. I just walked away furious. In the morning, I felt dirty. I haven't lost my temper in 10 years or more. I felt vulnerable, b/c I used to have real anger management issues and I thought I learned how to control them. But just one unfortunate instance made me realize, the demons are still there waiting... jv[1] This is mainly to serve as 1). a psychological barrier 2). To hide the position of my body, & 3) to preoccupy his eyes so he doesn't see my right foot coming.

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